how to set your house on fire

after putting my oven on the highest setting with out realising what i had done,and then wondering why the smoke alarm was going off,with out there being any smoke that I could see or smell,until I opened the oven door,too be faced with flames and smoke,and to have cremated chicken to eat,or more to the point the cat did,and even he turned his nose up at it,so the birds got a treat,in this cold weather,they are not so choosy